No Nature Allowed (Another Emotional Words)

I am not that brave to speak so I'm writing now. Dilemma is just the best word to be put on the highest accuracy to the answer of what I feel tonite. Being such a lame is so damn irritating, easy to fall, easy to be upset, then in the main point it will be easy to give up. I am technically an independent, but I never deny that I'm too fragile to be hurt by a scallywag.

Somehow, I can't clearly explain the thing that happened to me during the day. So sad, too sad, I'm sad. I suddenly hate everything related to the nature. I refuse to hear the whisper of the wind, I don't smell the atmosphere and I won't let my tounge taste the sweet of honey. All things seem like a huge thunderstorm. A lovely thing such a light can hit me down in a second. It's hurting.

I hate everything related to the ocean. Fishes (on the first rank of all the bullshits you offered to me),crabs,shrimps and all the LIES that come with it. Damn, I wish that thing never existed. 

Tonite and may be for more than a night I'm gonna burn all the memories of the mountain. It brought me to the top of the earth, then drowned me to the lowest ground. I don't want even to hear his name. All the mountains are sins, I shouldn't have stepped on it. I hate sins. I hate those painful memories. I completely hate mountain.

Someone needs to bring another nature to me. Another thing with no pain, lies, and tears. I'm done with this.

p.s : no need to ask me why, you know the answer

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

It feels like I only go backwards, baby

Every part of me says go ahead

I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again 

Feels like we only go backwards, darling. 

I know that you think you sound silly when you call my name

But I hear it inside my head all day 

When I realize I'm just holding on to the hope that maybe your feelings don't show

It feels like I only go backwards, baby

Every part of me says go ahead

Then I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

Feels like we only go backwards darling.

The seed of all this indecision isn't me, oh no

Cause I decided long ago.

But that's the way it seems to go when trying,

So hard to to get to something real, it feels

It feels like I only go backwards, darling

Every part of me says go ahead

I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

Feels like we only go backwards, darling

It feels like I only go backwards, baby

Every part of me says go ahead

But I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

TAME IMPALA

Where to Now

I had been so busy until I couldn't post something for a couple months. So many things happened. I don't even know how to tell a bunch of stories in a post. Some memorable experiences about excitement, sadness, dream, fresh air, warm sun, blue sky and peaceful ocean. I wish I could explain more about those words to ya.

Now I live my life alone. I decide to leave a person who had been with me for more than a year. True sadness in a drama. When we are written to be met in a same place, we should have a goodbye in the end of time. I pretended not to cry, I said I was fine, until I'm finally fine. A strong friendship is better than a weak relationship. 

Another story of me is being a 17 years old human. I'm grateful to be still alive. Life is spinning too fast dude. It seems like yesterday I tried so hard to stand, played with some children, entered elementary school, graduated from Junior High School and now I'll be in a university. Can't believe I'm officially 17. I'll have an identity card, a driving licence and yes, I can watch some movies with 17+ label. ha!

To be honest, I'm so tired. I've just come back from school to get my report. The result is quite good but not really satisfied. I must be more than those scores, I know I can be better. Keep asking why and why all day long. My sister said that I was good enough but I don't feel so. Just wanna rewind the time and try harder to remake my scores. Can I?

Tell me where to now 'cause the lights are up

And the covers and the gloves are off

There's no win or lose so go ahead make your move

Let's just pray that it's good enough

There's a war in my heart getting tired of fighting

When you say that you love me it hurts like lightning

Where to now

Who knows

Where to now

Who knows

Where to now

Who knows

Cider Sky - Where to Now

Getting Confuse and Start Making a Silly Note

Oh no! Being a 12th grader isn't as cool as I thought before. Truly confusing and everything is so damn busy. Deciding what university I will take is soo hard even though I've decided University of Indonesia as my first plan, finally I have to think it over. My parents said that it would be so much better if I chose ITB. Hmm, I don't mind actually but I'm not so much sure. I'm still dreaming of UI and imagining how great if I wear a yellow jacket. But, why people right now are influencing me not to choose UI instead of ITB or even Prasetiya Mulya Business School.

Another problem which comes on my mind is "I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT FACULTY I WILL CHOOSE AFTER I FINISH MY SCHOOL". Bad enough ha? 

So for my beloved juniors, choose ur plan and destination of university + faculty you will take and start learning since you read this silly note on ma blog. Good Luck! 

Begin Again

And you throw your head back laughing

Like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause

He never did

I've been spending the last 8 months

Thinking all love ever does

Is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe

I watched it begin again

taylor swift - begin again